I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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