Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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