Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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