If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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