does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
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Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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