dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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