swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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