I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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