lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize