I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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