I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
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I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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