it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize