i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
did i walk over a car last night?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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