I'm lost and stupid without you.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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