her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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