scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
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The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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