Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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