it was like his penis was on wheels.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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