Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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