doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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