You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize