This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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