Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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