So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize