Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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