She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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