Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize