evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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