also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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