you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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