areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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