so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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