even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize