I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
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Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
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I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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