I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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