there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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