the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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