: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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