Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Non-Jews are for practice
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize