You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
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