SEEEEXXX PLEASE
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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