Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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