I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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