just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize