so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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