Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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