YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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