I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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