I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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