Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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